Dear Fanfiction Authors
by Philosophy Blue
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the cast of Inuyasha thinks about their fandom? Find out now! Featuring the voices of Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and many more.
1. Inuyasha

**This is inspired by something of the same sort, only in the Yu Yu Hakusho fandom. I thought it would be a fun way to cool off after a heated writing session... So here it is! First up, Inuyasha!**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Damn, you fangirling wenches, don't you know when to stop? I know I can be a dick sometimes, I know I can be clueless sometimes, but really? Practically every other Kagome X Sesshomaru pairing out there starts out with her running off because I chose Kikyo over her! First off, Kagome will NEVER fall in love with Sesshomaru. I'd never allow the sick bastard to get near her. Second; some of the words you wenches put in my mouth make even ME cringe. I'd never call Kagome a who...! See? I can't even finish saying that! Kagome and _that word_ in the same sentence is just NOT gonna happen. Why? Because I WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE ELSE TOUCH HER!

Something else; I'm a pottymouth. I know it, too. But that doesn't mean that every other word that comes out of my mouth is fuck! Seriously! Damn, bitches! Whatever. Kagome says the ramen is ready, so I'm done with you all. But remember, I will be BACK if those annoying things keep happening!

Inuyasha

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 **I'm not saying that I hate SessKag; heck, it's my main forte. But I'm trying to imagine Inuyasha reading the Inuyasha fandom and his reactions, and this might be it...**

 **Next is Kagome!**


	2. Kagome

**This is Kagome's turn to talk!**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Sorry about Inuyasha. He's so rough, you know? *sighs* I hope you didn't mind. At least he's distracted by his ramen right now. I think he had a _lot_ more to say. Thank goodness for instant noodles.

But the purpose of this letter is not to apologize for Inuyasha's behavior. I've been reading about myself, or rather how you authors portray me, and I have to say, I'm not overall pleased with the results. First on the list is something that's really common and really popular for some reason.

Me, in love with Sesshomaru? Puh-lease! Yes, he's handsome, but he's so _mean._ And he's tried to kill Inuyasha so many times! I could never crush on someone who attacked my best friend so repeatedly. Given, most of our friends started out by attacking us, but Sesshomaru is in a class by himself. At least now he has Rin... Even though he pulled through in the final battle, I could never do the whole fangirling-for-an-ice-prince thing. Save it for the chick flicks!

And people, I am not a crybaby, so please stop portraying me as such. I've never ran away like that before when Inuyasha was getting all over Kikyo, so what makes you think I'd break down and start now? I'd give him a good sitting, I wouldn't burst into tears and run off into the unknown and get attacked by a demon and saved by Sesshomaru! That last part? Not happening.

But I have to say, I do enjoy how you people write me as a powerful miko. Haha, the most I can do is fire an arrow with my holy powers, and you guys are all like, "She made ropes of reiki come out of her hands and wrap around the demon." That, you can keep doing.

Oh, and... I don't hate Kikyo! Sure, I was jealous of her (not that I ever would have admitted it when she was alive), but I would never go around calling her a wh-word. I sure as heck wouldn't condemn her to hell!

One last thing before I go... Me as a demon? As a half-demon? For AU, that might be okay, but in Canon, you guys just write me down as falling asleep or something and waking up as, _voila_ , a demon. You don't even give a legitimate reason. Gah! Sometimes, I can't even believe you guys. But at least in most fics I'm a pretty boss person.

Kami! Inuyasha, sit! That's your own flesh-and-blood brother! Sesshomaru's here, and guess what? He wants a turn at the mic. Or the pen. Whatever. Prepare for some deep-freeze-worthy criticism!

Sincerely,

Kagome Higurashi


	3. Sesshomaru

**I was pleasantly surprised by all your positive feedback :) Thanks to all of you who have followed, favorited, or reviewed this story! Keep on being awesome! And now let there be no more waiting... Sexy-sama takes the stage!**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Mark my words, 'fangirls,' this one is not pleased with your writing. If it weren't for the fact that you are all unworthy of dying at my hands, you would be sizzling puddles of my poison by now. As it is, I shall voice my displeasure, and you shall listen or die.

Let it be said no more that this Sesshomaru is gay. These so-called 'yaoi' fanfictions in which this one falls in love with Inuyasha are despicable. I, the Killing Perfection, making love to the half-breed? Abominable indeed. *makes Kagome give him a new pen because he just melted his*

While we are on the subject of ridiculous love, I shall make it clear once and no more; Inuyasha's wench is none of my concern. She interests me not, nor does her pathetic love life. If she wishes to keep tagging along after the half-breed, that is her business, and if that road in life brings her misfortune, I certainly will not be there to save her. What a ludicrous notion. *sniffs*

Let it be known that this Sesshomaru is not a rapist. *narrows eyes menacingly* This one is too well self-controlled, and his beast has far too refined a taste to 'snap' and go chasing screaming women *snorts delicately*. That is not the Sesshomaru way. Women come willingly to my bed, whether I want them there or not *smirks*. And the mere thought of my eyes turning red every two minutes is disgustingly fanciful.

I have no taste for motor-mouthed, sassy wenches. If one were to stumble across my path and give me a tongue-lashing on my surliness, I would not pin her by the throat to a conveniently nearby tree and secretly pine after her; I would simply dispose of her with my poison whip. I am no masochist; I do not listen to such drivel with pleasure.

There are numerous other ways in which your fandom displeases me. Keep these words in mind lest you add to these infractions.

Repent and mend your ways or die,

Sesshomaru

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 **I was laughing so hard when I wrote this...**


	4. Rin

**There were a lot of requests for Kouga, so I was going to do him (not _do_ him, you know what I mean :P) next, buuuuut Rin just seemed like the perfect follow-up to Sesshomaru; I felt that her introduction was great and I wouldn't be able to work it into another later chapter. Sooo yes, Rin is here! (never fear) But Kouga _will_ have the next chapter, guaranteed! :)**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Sesshomaru-sama told me that it was Rin's turn to write a letter to Author-san even though there was another demon in line. The other demon was really scary. The other demon also yelled a lot at Inuyasha-san. He yelled at Sesshomaru-sama too when Sesshomaru-sama gave the pen to me, but Sesshomaru-sama gave him a look like the one he gives Jaken-dono and then the other demon, who looks like a wolf, gave up. Rin thought it was funny. Sesshomaru-sama tells Rin that this is getting off topic, so Rin will try to focus.

Rin is a child, but she is not such an immature crybaby as Author-sans all show her as. Rin was reading a story the other day and Rin cried and screamed a lot in it. Rin wasn't very happy. Author-san shouldn't do that.

But Rin also read some other stories, and in them, Rin was in love with Sesshomaru-sama. Most of the time she was all grown-up. Rin thought those were confusing, because sometimes older Rin acted mean and rude to Sesshomaru-sama. Rin would never do that.

In most of the stories Rin is in, she is nice and kind, though, so thank you, Author-san. Also, Kohaku-san is nice. Sometimes we fall in love. Rin thinks that could happen. Don't tell anyone Rin said this, but Rin thinks Kohaku-san is sweet and kind. But so is Shippo-chan. He is very fun to play with. Rin likes him too.

Shippo-chan wants me to go pick flowers for Kagome-nee-san with him, so Rin has to say bye. It was very nice to meet you, Author-san. Rin hopes to talk to you again, although this isn't really talking. Goodbye! :)

Love,

Rin

p.s. Also, the other scary demon Rin was talking about seems really mad, so be careful! He might be a little mean in his letter.

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 **Seeeee? I wouldn't be able to work in the introduction to another chapter! But yeah, you all know why Rin thinks Kouga is scary. And yass, that is the badass who is up next! So keep watching _Dear Fanfiction Authors_!**

 **Ciao,**

 **.:*~Stardust Miko~*:.**


	5. Kouga

**Aaand the cocky stereotypical can't-take-no-for-an-answer he-man, Kouga!**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Finally! That stupid dog took forever to write his goddamn letter, and then he had to go and have his little runt human go next. I swear, idiocy runs in the family! Anyways, don't think _you're_ off the hook! Man, your stories...

Okay, I get that this is fanfiction and all that, but what the hell is so 'hot' about Mr. I'm-Better-Than-Everyone-Else? That sissy girl face is NOT anything worth swooning about! And that mutt? Him, sexy? HAHAHAHAHA!...no. Obviously, _I'm_ the real man in the series! So how about writing some more stories that have Kagome falling madly in love with me? Now _those_ would be worth reading! And then maybe Kagome would quit being so shy and admit that she's meant to be _my_ woman!

And why in the hell am I always the comic relief in all those love triangles? You know, when the dogs are goin' at each other 'cause of Kagome, I'm always the one who shows up and then gets beaten up in a 'show of dominance'! That's some serious bullshit! You make me look like some loser who can't take no for an answer! I don't take that shit lyin' down, and I sure as hell don't submit to _any_ of those stupid mongrels! *dodges rock thrown by the elder of the 'stupid mongrels'*

And I've read so many stories where I'm the bad guy! Like, I'm Kagome's boyfriend (which is awesome as all hell), but then she wants to break up with me (as if!) and then I get pissed and try to rape or kill her. WHAT THE FUCK? I would never treat my woman that way! She would never want to break up with me in the first place! And no, I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HER WITH AYAME! Seriously, man! For people who say that they've watched our show, you sure don't write like it.

You should also make me a more major character. Most fics, I only make an appearance in like, one chapter! And that's so I can get beaten up for YOUR amusement! How fucked up is that? Okay, now I'm done writing. My hand is crapping. I mean cramping. Why the hell did I write crapping? I tell you I hate writing! Whatever! Just know that whatever you write, I will be watching! So now, hell, I'm done. Man, I think I've written more in this letter than I have in my entire life combined! Shows how pissed I am. Whatever.

Kouga

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 **Heh, gotta love Kouga. He's sooo in denial...**

 **Ciao,**

 **.:*~Stardust Miko~*:.**


	6. Miroku

**To write this chapter, I had to channel my inner Miroku... lolz I'm gonna start saying that now!**

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Dear Fanfiction Authors,

I must say, ladies, your stories are quite fun to read. I enjoyed perusing your works, especially the M rated ones (ow, Sango! What was that for?). They had me quite... _excited._ _*_ dodges stone thrown by Sesshomaru* I sincerely applaud your valiant efforts, and I certainly will not object to reading any more of those fascinating works. I have actually committed some of those to memory, I _enjoyed_ them so much. So did my close friend. *waggles eyebrows* *face plants into the dirt with a smoking Hiraikotsu on the back of his head*

I think this is Abuse the Sexy Monk Day. It is a known fact that I am attractive. Even Jakotsu, the frightful man in lipstick, admitted it! I am 'just sexy!' But as long as I am abused by beautiful women with even more beautiful bodies, I have no objection. *stiffens as Sesshomaru gives him a dirty look* Of course, I am not talking about the esteemed Lord Sesshomaru. Although he _is_ rather beautiful... and his body is flawless. *gets slapped by Sango, and Sesshomaru nods in approval*

My inner Kagome is telling me to change the subject, and so I shall. So, ladies, down to business. I appreciate how I am shipped in practically every fic that mentions us with Sango! But if I may ask, why do they portray me as a 'perverted idiot'? That is not accurate in the least! *Inuyasha snorts derisively* I swear, the world is a conspiracy...

Overall, however, I have no complaints with your work, ladies. Neither does my close friend. And _both_ of us would love a visit from you _highly imaginative_ young ladies! Such imaginations should not be limited to writing, but be used in real life...

Love,

the Sexy Monk Miroku

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 **Why did I do Miroku? I have no clue... Maybe I just felt pervy. Lawlz. Remember, channel your inner Miroku! :D**

 **Ciao,**

 **.:*~Stardust Miko~*:.**


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